UNMIK ON AIR

12 July 2003

REMEMBERING SREBRENICA

By Zoran CULAFIC

Kada: I do not understand politics, nor any possible reasons why, it was nice living near my neighbor Ljubica; how many coffees we shared together. Ljubica didn’t disturb me and I didn’t disturb Ljubica but someone said that Kada disturbed Ljubica and that Ljubica disturbed Kada and I’ll never understand why.

Kada Hotic from Srebrenica, a Bosnian town whose name will forever be etched in the minds of people around the world after the 1995 massacre. Srebrenica has been described as the worst bloodshed in Europe since War II.

Hello and welcome, to this special edition of UNMIK ON AIR.

On July 11^th 1995 General Ratko Mladic and his army entered Srebrenica and murdered Hotic’s husband, son and many other close relatives. Today she lives in Sarajevo with what is left of her family. Hotic’s former neighbor Hatidza Mehmedovic still lives in Srebrenica, alone in her ruined house. Hatidza still wakes up each morning with the hope of seeing her two sons and her husband. Unfortunately it is just her dream. They remain missing.

To this day Hatidza and Kada can’t understand what evil allowed people to act like furious animals out of control.

Kada: I’ll never understand. I’m not a politician. I’m an ordinary woman, but I’ll never understand why there are wars; why today, when people are reasonable and you can do everything by dialogue? Did Mladic need to say, “well, we took revenge on the Turks because of Dahias; the Turkish local rulers here, centuries ago It was a long time ago. What have I got in common with the Dahias? And what do these people, born here in recent years, have in common with the Dahijas? Shall we revive such things from who knows how many centuries ago? Some old stupidities to hand down to our youngsters. We all are supposed to be reasonable people. We should at least be able to live together. You are a man, I’m a man; what’s the problem, I’ll never understand.

Hatidza: Many times I think: “ what if my three sons were still alive and were at “The Hague (The tribunal), maybe I would be happier then. But now, not even knowing where a little bit of their fingers are. But at the same time it’s clear to me. Thank you dear God for I’m not an evil mother; that I did not give birth to criminals … Thank God I’m not the mother of a criminal. This runs through my mind and I thank God for these things. These are difficult times for me indeed. Instead of going to weddings, I’m just waiting for coffins. Instead of being a happy mother, I’m a sad, sad, mother. And I continue to struggle just to discover the truth and find the graves of my sons.

Kada : I often think about the criminals and when they committed the crime. Oh my God! How could they do it? Those victims were humans also. We’ re all made from the same flesh and blood and if someone ordered them to do it, it must have been hard for them to obey it must have been very hard for them. But I pray to God they’ll face the courts and face up to their responsibility. I can’t help them and yet neither can I forgive them. But I’m not cursing anyone. I wouldn’t like their children to face any evil. God help everyone to heal and to live a normal life. God bless us all! Give us the intellect to overcome this because when it hurts you it hurts me too and God don’t let anyone hurt anyone else.

Hatidza: You see this house, my house it’s small, but for me it’s bigger than America because my sons grew up here, and this was their last place the place of their youth and there are those three trees. As I watch them grow, I see my children. And those roads are drenched with the blood of my children many innocent people vanished here my younger son was not even18 the oldest one was just 21.

Hatidza: I came back here before the funeral and I was just hoping that one of mine would be identified. It would at least be some sort of satisfaction that justice would come to light and that one could see what the crime was actually like to see what they’ve done. Somehow it was always hidden away and today it is still hidden away. Some want to generalize the crime but it cannot be generalized. What happened that one day in Srebrenica is now known to the world and how so many people vanished in just one day. That is the shame.

Kada: It’s very hard to face the truth, the truth is bitter, but it is still better than uncertainty. When they identified my husband I asked them – do you know how he was murdered? Did he suffer? They told me it was machine-gun fire. I asked a man whom a bullet – had wounded – does it hurt when a bullet hits you? No, he said, you feel nothing. And that gave me some relief. But often I think about when my husband was taken out for execution what fear he must have felt I know he was thirsty and hungry, I often wonder if my son, Samir was also killed by a bullet I would be happy if I just knew where he is maybe he was alive, thrown somewhere in a grave, maybe they cut him or beat him to death. Such thoughts keep me from sleeping. That’s why I asked the forensics experts if they knew what pain he felt I must know the truth I can’t go on living without the truth. And thank God there are those commissions who are dealing with this issue.

Hatidza: I brought a carpet to put on the floor and I got tired I was exhausted and I sat down on a chair and I looked around and it just came to me I’m really back in my home this is my home indeed, my walls everything is mine but none of my loved ones are here and then my thoughts go back to 1995 the separation from my children and my husband they were hard times for me. Then my neighbor came with his wife to visit me and talked to me, but I couldn’t say a word, he told to me, Hatidza, what’s with you? And I said – I was just thinking they would wait for me here, but now I see, my Abid and Fahreta, they’re not here.

Kada: Do I have friends? I thought I had many friends … still I think there are many people who understand me and whom I understand. But there is one person, she is now in Bajina Basta in Serbia and she was our close friend. She moved to Bajina Basta before the war. Both she and her husband got jobs there. She called me by phone and said, “Kada, go to Ljubovia. Brane will come to pick you up. Come to us. Evil is going to happen there” … I told her, “Vesna, thank you, but I can’t come. I can be your guest for a few days, but who knows, this will all end”. I never thought it would all end like this. And my God! I wish I had taken her advice. Another neighbor, Dubravka, she was a teacher and her husband was the chief of police here, my husband was his deputy at that time she never gave me even a shadow of a hint, just some sign like “ Kada, take your Samir away go away”. She was packing her things planning to go to Bijeljina. I would have never revealed her secret, if she just would have told me –“ go”. She knew what was going to happen to us. I spoke on the phone to Vesna, the one from Bajina Basta, and I told her, “ you are my friend, no matter what you say today, no matter at all, but what you told me then was important for me, and I wish I would have listened to you. Maybe then they would all be alive today. Who knows?”.

Kada: We have to build a foundation for the future generation. I worry about my three grandchildren and my daughter. I wish they lived in healthy conditions, with healthy people no matter what ethnicity they are. All over the world different people live together and that’s so normal and no one is disturbed by anyone’s religion. For me, every place of worship is the same. God created all of us and we should respect each other as humans if only our politicians had had just a bit of Tito’s wisdom. Tito was a great man. You don’t have to recognize it, but the world recognized him. A very wise man, for this region which for centuries has been mired in conflicts, all for unjustifiable reasons. People can live together if they find an agreement, no matter who they are and what language they speak or what God they pray to, all of us are humans.

Kada: I’ve survived, along with many others from the village of Potocare, that “jehenem” you understand what jehenem is? It’s hell you cannot describe it. Today I feel the fear as I remember it but, at that moment, when I was in the midst of it,(Hell) everything in me vanished. The fear the desire to live the thoughts everything vanished I do not know what it is that changes in a human being I simply felt nothing , it was a mass of shrieking and screaming. There was slaughtering women gave premature births among the crowd they took the girls somewhere far away my brother was taken to a nearby house they were tortured there, afterwards we found all the leftovers in those houses some eyes ears fingers everything It was like

Kada: we were in their hands at their mercy to do with us what they wanted girls were taken away and raped some of them returned back, some never returned we have some 500 young women who are still missing we also have over 1000 children under 18 missing One old sick man was carried in a blanket by his two daughters, immobile we say, “just four of his bones” and a chetnik said – leave him here we’ll take care of him, he said and boom!, a pistol shot into his head they killed a man, just like that and you are wandering around just like a robot, without any thoughts They put a rifle on my husbands neck and took him away. I just gave him one last look and nothing we did not even say goodbye to each other nothing.

Hatidza: My children grew up without paying attention to who was a Serb or who was a Muslim whoever It didn’t matter what someone’s name was. My husband had many friends among Serbs and they helped us a lot. I can’t commit the sin of not saying that, but they did not help me once – when it was the most crucial moment for me, and it surprises me a bit and makes me bitter.

Music up and under

Kada: Thank God, I often say, I have no crime in my soul and I’m not a criminal … I go to bed alone, with my wounds, but it is easier for me, I think I do not know how I would feel if I were in the skin of a criminal who committed those crimes. How is he dealing with that?

Back announce: God, they say helps those who help themselves – and if the Balkans is to emerge out of the shadow of war and trauma, and to join the European family, it seems that many among us have to think deeply about the words just heard from those these brave Srebrenica mothers.

That was all for this special edition of UNMIK on Air