8th
June 2003
FOCUS
YOUTH GROUP
(Hysni
Recica)
Hello and welcome to UNMIK on air
with Sputnik Kilambi.
Vox Pop: Who do you think exercises more
emotional violence; girls to boys or boys to girls?
Girls; boys
Boys; girls
Emotional violence; it’s no joking
matter. Whether it’s verbal, physical or sexual it can leave scars which take a
long time to heal.
But emotional violence is one of
those taboo subjects which receives little attention in Kosovo. So the youth
NGO Focus was taking the bull by the horns when it set up an awareness project
for schools called “Dating Violence”.
When we recently found Focus in
the 28 Nentori school in Prishtina, they had already visited 70 classrooms with
around 2100 students.
Vjosa Retkoceri, is a
member of “Focus” and a student of the same school. Unfortunately her school is
not spared by violence, she says.
Vjosa Retkoceri: Physical
and emotional violence are more common than the destructive and sexual.
Njomeza Bunjaku, a
trainer, says students have found the project interesting and hopes it will
show them that violence is bad and unnecessary.
Njomeza Bunjaku: Based on
my experience and on what I have seen I know that this (violence) is quite
present, especially in Pristina. I believe it is more present in the ninth
classes since it’s a very sensitive age, they cannot always tell good from bad.
It wasn’t easy to make students
speak on the issue, says Burim Haxholli, another member of the NGO.
Burim Haxholli: At first
it was a bit difficult until they broke the ice, later they were very quiet and
listened very carefully.
Eight members of “Focus”
have formed 4 discussion groups. Njomeza puts a scenario to them.
Njomeza Bunjaku: Teuta and Ilir have been seeing each other
for two months now. They are at a party. Ilir sees Teuta talk to Mentor and
hears her telling him she likes his new car. Ilir gets upset because he does
not have a car and that he had to send Teuta to the party by bus. He approaches
her, grabs her arm and sends her out. He tells her he does not want to see her
with Mentor again.
What if they were found in
that position was the question. There were some who would do the same.
Student: (a student trying to
imagine himself in Ilir’s position) I would get nervous and I’d send
her home, I would tell her not to talk to him again.
Student: (a girl in Teuta’s
situation) I would feel bad, and I would tell him do not touch me, you
do not have the right to touch or hit me.
Most of the students
conclude that Teuta is right if she leaves Ilir. Meanwhile as the discussion
rolls the students become more and more open. Melihate Sefa recalls a personal
case.
Melihate Sefa: I felt
the worst, to tell you the truth, in the eighth class, when a friend of mine,
who I loved as my brother, proposed to me.
Student: I think
that girls look like angels but inside they are like devils
Hysni asking girls; your
comment?
This is not true, this is
nonsense, because female look like they feel, while men know tricks and change
their looks, while they feel quite differently.
And so the battle of the sexes
plays itself out at 28 Nentori school. But all is not lost. After lengthy
discussions an answer to the dilemma of Teuta and Ilir is found.
Melihate Sefa: Teuta and Ilir at a party. Ilir is angry
because she is talking to Mentor. He approaches her and says ‘We need to talk’.
He tells her he feels upset because she keeps talking to Mentor and he feels
disrespected. He thinks she likes Mentor more because he has a car. Teuta says
he should trust her and she loves him, but this does not mean she cannot talk
to her friends.
Ilir: You are right, but this is
just because I love you so much.
Teuta: I love you too.
The “Focus” NGO is made up
entirely of volunteer teenagers, and won an award for its Dating Violence
project on Human Rights Day. Well done!
That’s all for today from UNMIK on Air. Stay tuned.